Monday, February 26, 2007

Stuck on me

Stuck on you.

I've been feeling rather empty lately and to even start writing on this blog feels like a huge effort. I've been slacking on my shop lately, partially coz DH was leaving and we were trying to spend some last days together before I'll see him months later. I spent the morning trying to sort out photos, loads of administration and stuff. Didn't sleep much since I'm quite used to DH being beside me. Maybe I should make a huggable model, not the erotic types (!!) but the voodoo doll type, 'cep bigger. Anyways, I spent the afternoon playing Burnout Revenge on the PS2. I'm not usually a PS type person but we've been playing it a couple of times and I didn't want to waste DH's effort on the progress. So I sat there, playing game after game of mind-numbing speed, crash and burn. Its what my mind needed, cloudiness and dizziness. Its tough to want to face the world right now, esp since I'm stuck and stumped. Which is about the exact time I watched Adaptation on TV. I didn't know what it was initially coz by the time I sat down with my snacks (justifiable, dudes.), Nicholas Cage was already thinking aloud. I thought, hell, can't go wrong with this guy. I loved him over time and he reminded me that he is pretty good in Ghost Rider. The movie utterly bored me to death coz I literally felt like Charlie, cooped up in my own silly thoughts and having too much of a brain blockage. Until they came to the part when Laroche was talking about the adaptation of orchids to insects. The passion between insect and flower, the dependance on each other suddenly made some sense in me. I swear my eyes widened a little. Its prolly strange to think that mating right now requires a tall-dark-handsome-fat bank account type guy and a beautiful-slim-sporty-"adventurous" woman for the guys. Whatever happened to the time when you meet a person you could be with your whole life without question? Before you think, "oh, it got old", I gotta say its globalization. Its a great idea to blame something coz its always gotta be something. The dazzling amount of choices of anything we have in life makes it a natural tendency for us to wanna sieve out the best. I don't blame anything. It might be the evolution of man which would be to boring to get into the bottom of (something begets something, something begets something, and so on...) though its interesting to think that we're prolly left with little choices than to be hypnotized by everything we see. So it goes, judging is bad, objectivity is good? Firstly, there's no such thing as objectivity. I can't stress that enough! We're all biased and judgmental. I know you'd hate me for saying this but oh yes, we are.

Apologetic I am. I think and preach too much. And I surf Wikipedia too much too. If you have to know, I majored in Linguistics, minored in Psychology & Sociology. I should prolly say I major in Thoughts. Sigh.

On a lighter note, I've rediscovered a hidden under god-knows-where Godiva box of stones & seashells 'stolen' from the gorgeous beaches of Wollongong, Australia. We were there last winter(western summer) for DH's Ling conference so I had a good walk on the deserted beach. They had old lighthouses there which literally made me scream with delight. Oh yes and the thrift stores were literally goldmines! I discovered loads of things and had loads of fun walking around the tiny City. Wollongon university was this really beautiful place, lovely and quiet, hidden among massive trees and green patches. I'd love to study there if not for the time I saw Sydney Uni featured in a movie that made me dream of studying there. Yes, it was the Quad, its always the lure of the Quad. Anyways, those were great times. I miss the US in Sydney, DH, TC & me.

Ohhh.....there I go again. Its getting gloomy and all. I better leave on a high note!
(Any more exclaimations, you'd think its bonkers.)

Till it gets better.


Kiandra said...

i *heart* you
i found you on flikr and thought i'd check out your blog, and finally a beautiful blog with lots of thoughts. i just started my blog and it seems all i do is write about my thoughts. i understand what you said about majoring in thoughts, i live in mine! i am with you on the procastination, i am finally going to try and sell on etsy, even though i signed up a year ago. i sell my stuff at local galleries, but never tried online, now i want to and the fear of the unknown has me procastinating...sigh.
anyway, hope you don't feel too lonely without your dh, i'd die without mine so i can't deepest well wishes for time flying by in between you seeing him.

florspace said...

Thanks so much fro your sweet comments Kiandra! We're opposite on the etsy thing. I kinda feel "safer" being on etsy. A bit mysterious and stuff. I'm so flaky I don't think I can sell at a real shop!

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