Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A little dark... a little bright

I'm feeling a little down again. Its not PMS but seems to be hitting me out of the blue. I'm not sure if its school or the fact that I don't understand business statistics or that my law lecturer looks like an army sergeant but its not very useful to feel like this. Suddenly nothing matters in my life, not even the satirical Bizarro comics in the times paper. Apologies for griping like this, but its hard to tell this to anyone else without them feeling helpless. Its ok not to read this guys. Apparently, there's a lot of lurkers around here. I've been running, cutting down on the chips, candies and fried food, haven't bought clothes for a while, have been into sustainability living, reading zakka magazines, but still.... Do you guys feel like this sometimes? How do you get out of it?

Last night, I had to choose between finishing this "red" bag for the coming CNY (Chinese New Year means red, red & red) visits and to do up costing assignments for school. The lecturer was adamant about handing it in before 10am, or he cuts half the marks. Maybe this was adding to the stress. I drank espresso at the library and tried very hard to figure out what goes into the WIP accounts and where do the figures go to after that. It was a hellish night but I wasn't late today. (thanks to my DH who was my alarm clock. Apparently I kicked his head in the morning while he was trying to wake me. :P) Needless to say I was still pretty restless in class despite 2 cups of thick coffee & a danish. The AC in the lecture hall didn't work, so I had to spend the second half squinting the flashes in front (I refused to print the 200-page notes. thats a lot of paper!). I couldn't quite understand this guy anyways. He's focusing too much on the "doing" and not the explaining. Double sigh. I raced home after class, sat down and finished the bag. Its not leather, its not vinyl, its duct tape. Just 2 rolls of large duct tape and a smaller roll, plus some metal parts and your fav shape paper bag you want to see as a bag and voila, new bag. My relatives will be so shocked. I still refuse to buy new clothes for CNY. I made my own fisherman pants (below), my mum made me a top. All I bought was a pair of black mary janes from Crocs a while ago. I even remade a skirt. For once, I'm pretty tired of fashion.

I feel so guilty. Mum helped with finishing the 5 wallets today when I was out running and I wasn't in the mood to say thanks then. Thanks're the greatest. I guess I'll do something nice soon. Dad wants a cover for his GPRS thing. A lot to dooooo. Piles and piles. I heard that exercises makes people happy with the endorphins release and stuff. Its a mind bogger that I feel more depressed. I'm finding it difficult to locate the positive energy when I start to lose belief in anything. Not chai tea, yoga or pilates, anything. I need a vacation. I guess thats the only thing people say when they hit a wall. Working my butt off its crazy sometimes but its enjoyable coz I love making stuff. And packing orders at 3am feels great coz I'm doing it for people who love my stuff. The only thing that bugs me is spending time at classes. I know its good to do it, but being a year one at uni again is pure pain in the ass. Triple sigh.

phew! I think I feel a bit better after typing. For anyone who's read this far, THANK YOU. Its prolly going to sound nonsensical, but it means a lot to have an audience. I'm not advocating it, but perhaps griping once in a blue moon kinda helps I guess. The really really nice thing that happened today was this surprise from Jo. She super talented in rubber stamp carving and she's going to start an etsy store! I can't contain my excitement for her store coz I've been such a huge fan of her work and have been persuading her to sell her work!

If you have an etsy store, get her to do your logo, wow! She sent this to me after I requested for it! Thanks SO much Jo! I love love love it! Going to stamp everywhere. hehe

Going off to seek some happiness...


Little Paris said...

I love rubber stamp. Thanks for your sharing. I am inspired by your energy and hard work! Keep up!!

Zizi said...

I have days when I feel just like that...but you know what, life is to short and precious! I started reading this book 4 years ago and i'm always reading it.... "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by dale Carnegie...i swear, it's a great book ,written 74 years ago but very relevant for today!

Its full of interesting anecdotes about the way people deal with stress, it has eased my mind in so many ways! Here's a link to the summary of the book :

hope you'll look into that :)
take care!

Zizi said...

one more thing from that book, "Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.""

florspace said...

Thanks guys...I guess the dark days do get to me sometimes. I hope to be bright soon! ^___^

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