Saturday, November 08, 2008

Its over.

Boy am I tired. The last paper came and gone, devastating my being the likes of Katrina. I was never good at cost management yet life somehow manages to throw it at me, time and again. I've been doing accounting since high school and not that I loathe it completely, it just takes up way too much energy and in the end, I just feel sad and empty, like all the effort put in was worth naught but the hollow feeling in my chest. After today's paper, I left feeling more haunted than ever. I know I made terrible mistakes in formulas and calculations so the fear of repeating this module is becoming clearer and more real than ever. Re-doing the exam alone would be fine, but worst yet, there's a project and presentation. Going through all that again is quite like fighting yet another war. After yet another war(semester), when all that's left are war wounds and self-doubt, I do wonder, what's it all really worth?

At the end of it all, all we get is a piece of paper, like a veterans medal, where 10,000 others have the same, it feels so mediocre & quite meaningless. (The fresh-baked pizza mom bought for dinner was way better.) Sometimes, I do feel that a purse well-made and seeing the smile on people's faces when they receive them is so much more rewarding.

And I'll do it all over again in a heartbeat.

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